Gikotori

As most of you know, I have been in Bukora, Eastern Rwanda for the last week visiting the current DTS on their outreach. I had an awesome time, and will blog more about the whole trip soon. But first, I wanted to do a special blog for a very special little girl. My eyes are already filling up as I write this....OK, now the tears are falling....


I did my own DTS outreach in Bukora last year for a couple of months, and during that time, God brought the most beautiful, precious gift into my life. Her name is Gikotori Queenie Jessica, she is 5 years old and lives out East in a small rural area known as Bukora. It is only by God's grace that I was blessed to have this girl as part of my life, and I can tell you now, hand on heart, that I have thought about her every day since the first time I met her.


She is pretty feisty, and holds her own against all the bigger kids, and bosses around everyone else. Her personality is totally unique and she is one of the most charismatic children I know. She sings beautifully, dances like no one else and has an incredibly cute lisp that shows itself in her z's and s's. She calls me her muzungu and won't stand for it when another kid wants to hold my hand or sit on my lap or stand next to me. When she visits the house in the morning she calls me by my kinyarwanda name Umugwaneza, and I am never sad to see her. She has these cute little feet, where her toes have not developed properly, but recently has aquired one toenail on her little toe of her left foot. Needless to say, it was painted bright pink and shown off to anyone who would look. Every moment I know is precious, because I never know how much longer I will have her in my life.


This past week, I was with her for four amazing days, and I will remember them forever. I bought her a beautiful little blue dress and some lollipops which she went crazy for, I also left her with a nice pink flower to clip onto her clothes too. One nice surprise was her and her brother, Steven turning up at the church we went to for ministry on Sunday (after following us on a 30 minute walk to the place we were at) so I had some amusement during the four hour service with her on my lap.


However, this is the sad bit. After an amazing year knowing her, she will not be part of my Bukora visits  anymore. Her family will be moving to Tanzania in November, and the chances of them returning are very slim, as there will be not much reason for them to come back and visit Bukora. On the last day there, her Dad visited me in the morning, and asked for a word with me with Bebe helping to translate. He greeted me and we went to sit at a quiet spot under the banana tree in the back garden. He told me that he had watched me with Gikoto for the time we were together and could see how much I loved her and how much she loved me. He said that the way I cared for her and loved her was greater than the way him and his wife did. That everyday, she wanted to be me and when she came back when it got dark she was excited for it to be light again so she could come back to our house. He told me that because of this, he wanted me to take her as my own child, as it would be better for her in not having to say goodbye all the time, and spending our time apart waiting for me. I can't even begin to describe how this broke my heart; to have a child's father offer them to someone else for nothing in return. To be able to give up such a precious gift from God should not be possible. By this time, I was crying and could only tell him that I was young, and not ready to take on a child, and practically, it is not possible to adopt a child when their parents are still alive and able to care for them. I told him that God had blessed his family with a very special gift, that was not meant for anyone else but them. I told him that this little girl had changed my way of thinking, she had taught me about love and responsibility, and looking after my own children, but of course, I could not take her. But I would be back to visit as often as I could to see her and I was praying God would make regular visits and even some sort of support possible. This is when he broke it to me that they were planning to go to Tanzania the following month. 


All I can say is that I am heartbroken. Was that honestly the last time I will ever be with her? Did God only intend for us to have such a short time together? What is His plan now for all of our lives? Maybe I sound overly emotional or I am being a bit dramatic, but I mean every word. Is it possible to love a child more than their own parents? Can a parent really give up their youngest daughter? Will I see her again? Will they really go to Tanzania? There are so many questions that can't possibly have any answers, and I think all I can do now is pray and pray and keep on praying that this is not the end of it all. 










Father God,


I thank you that you are a good God. You are faithful and kind and true and you gave me a special gift for such a time as this. Teach me Your ways, because they are higher than mine and your plans are bigger and have more reason than my human understanding. 
I pray your protection on Gikotori, and I pray that you would expand her parent's hearts to love her unconditionally and to strive for the best life for her, wherever she goes. 


I simply pray that this is not the end, that I will see her again, you know my heart's desires, and I entrust them to you.


In the name of Jesus Christ, the one who died for all of us and rescued me from a life worth nothing and gave me new life, rich in hope and promises.


Amen